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Get kicked out because you’re too young, you get a gold watch and you go to work.You should die first, get it out of the way.What’s that, a bonus? I think the life cycle is all backward. What do you get at the end of it? A Death. The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends. It’s all at Flo & Moe Answer Your Pressing Problems. Learn about a wife’s dilemma with her clicker-happy husband, even orgies, octogenarian-style. Experts Flo and Moe respond to readers’ deepest concerns. Thus begins yet another service from Suddenly Senior. Were drive-in movies of the ‘40s and ‘50s the sexually unrestrained “passion pits” of yore? Or is all that our inner-teenager’s imagination? DEAR SUDDENLY SENIOR… The last thing she needs in her life is another dopey, clingy, whiny, dependent lover! Heavy Groping at the StarLite Drive-in In Praise of Older WomenĪn older, single woman usually has had her fill of “meaningful relationships” and “commitment.” Can’t relate? Can’t commit? She could care less. One minute you’re a male sex object, the next, you’re a lecherous old fart with bad breath, bad teeth, and probably badly in need of Viagra. When Wild Oats Turn Into Prunes and All Bran
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Whether you simply seek new friends, a sex partner or the love of your life, you can do it online. Oldbarĭozens of sightings of senior citizens engaged in outdoor sexual activities leads to an investigation of “Looking for Love” classified ads for the senior set. The camera could follow my every movement from the times I get up in the middle of the night to pee right through my exciting day until my wife and I shake hands at bedtime. With WebCams for everything else, it’s time for GeezerCam. What really catches my eye is the dazzling red type across from the photo saying, “Your Penis Shrinks 19.8% as you get older due to deficiency of testosterone!” Taking It All Off for GeezerCam Sex After Death? Heaven Forbid!Īs we slip and slide toward the inevitable, is there a senior among us who hasn’t pondered the possibility of hot sex beyond those pearly gates? Eternity is a long time to go without a good roll in the hay. Senior women claim they’re lucky to find a man who can remember where he left his teeth. Senior men seem to believe mature women want nothing more than a warm body who doesn’t miss the toilet too often. I’ve Got Viagra!” A Look at Today’s Senior Dating.ĭating, the second time around, has its pitfalls. But there’s a good reason for seniors running wild. Only the latest senior sex scandal, this involving Florida’s “The Villages.” Locals don’t know whether to laugh or gross-out. “Much more!” Rampant Herpes Exposes Uptight Senior Community Of course, many of the younger generation, including our sons and daughters, find it disgusting that Granny and Gramps could still be doing it. The real pièce de résistance, though, was that first line of defense no mother would let her daughter out without the dreaded girdle… Sex After 60 (Probably a very short column)
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We may embarrass our kids and shock the neighbors, but wrinkly Romeos and sagging seductresses are just carrying on a time-honored tradition. Not if today’s sexy seniors have anything to say about it. Same Sex Marriages: A Letter to the President About LeviticusĪ letter to President Bush about same-sex marriage. Read yet another view on sex after prostate surgery. One Man’s Personal View of Prostate Surgery and Sex Looking to swing? Learn from these 70-year-old singles. Try not to die laughing! Swinging Singles: 70 Year Old Senior Swinging Enjoy this amazing collection of senior sex stories and jokes.